Fighting depression

One of the things I enjoy very much is sitting here early in the morning with a cup of tea and putting my thoughts into words. Sometimes I go for an early jog and ideas pop into my head. Other times, I have no idea what I am going to write about, but I trust the Universe will assist me in finding a key thought to express. This is my diary blog and I write because perhaps one person out there can benefit from reading about my experiences or my counsel.

How many of you out there have had instances when depression or depressive moments came in and took charge of your daily lives? I am writing about this today not because I am depressed, but because a good friend of mine is battling depression as a result of the pressure from his collapsing business. I met with him this past Friday and after having a beer he confided that the pressure is getting to him and seemed overwhelmed by it.

I've been in his shoes before. I've had the entire weight of the world on my shoulders and more. I've gone out for a walk to clear the negative thoughts from my head and felt both knees buckled. What's the solution I ask? Again, it is inside of us and not outside. For many, it is required that we go through these fires to reach the calm waters. There are lessons we must learn because of bad decisions we made at some point and now it's pay-back time. In other instances, it is part of our karma and the heartaches are a cleansing solution that can bring us down from the proverbial high horse - a way to make us see what is really important in life, to put us on the right path, or to grow internally. Or it is simply a fact of life that things are not always going to be perfect and we have to deal with the ups and downs.

I will be blunt in what I am getting ready to say but I believe that a depressive state of mind is a selfish state of mind. Nothing matters more than our problems. We become the center of this universe and this "crisis" is the only thing that is important. Since we become the center of attention, it is normal that we start attracting others with similar views - misery loves company. If we thought the hole was getting deeper, lets go find an industrial size shovel because we are now digging full time. (Quick advise for those of you who are depressed: if you go confide your problems to a friend and afterwards he or she makes you feel worse than when you started, walk away!) Stop digging and take time to think about all the good things that you have in your life. I know it is easier said than done, particularly when one is overwhelmed with all the problems.....stop thinking about yourself and give to others. Go to McDonald's and buy a happy meal and give it to the first dirty, nasty homeless guy you see laying in the middle of the street. Don't say anything to him, just drop it on his lap. Turn around and walk away and I guarantee you will feel better about it and for that one quick second, your depression will not be there.

Create those quick moments in your life and soon the dark clouds will disappear.

Armed with the ignorance of my innocence

I have fallen prey to the belief that kindness and honesty can trump an evil action. I have dropped to my knees often and allowed the whip of a tyrant to lash against my back. Each lash brought with it the hope that justice would prevail. The pain was temporary and the wounds eventually healed, but I finally realized the wickedness of an amoral soul can't be harnessed with kind words or the truth.....

The truth is irrelevant to those who erect monuments to their self-interest and preservation. Can Lady Justice peek underneath her blindfold and see the scales are uneven? How does one fight the approaching storm that threatens to eradicate the harvest of a lifetime? Bow submissively to those strong winds like a palm tree never taking your eyes off the ultimate goal: recover and lick your wounds, regain strength, and at the right moment pierce the heart of the storm with the lightning of the truth.

Ask for more problems in life......it is homework!

Last night I was talking to some friends about the challenges and difficulties we encounter in life. One friend argued that she prays for a solution whenever she faces a hard problem in life but often "God doesn't listen or doesn't want to help her" get out of proverbial "hole." Another friend commented that the periods of happiness in her life are few and far between. What she perceives as happiness, quickly disappears when a new obstacle comes into her world.

My friends are good people but they are misguided. They don't understand the real purpose of life. It is not a country club, a spa, or a beach resort where you can just relax, enjoy a margarita, and go dancing all night without worries. What would you learn about yourself and how much pressure you can handle when the screws are tighten? How would you react to an illness or a tragedy unless you have been tested?

Imagine if a school decides to promote children to the next grade without taking any tests? (this is the norm and not the exception in our public schools today). At some point, those children will have to go out into the real world. They are not prepared for the realities of life. A minor setback can turn into depression or worst - suicide. Each adversity becomes an insurmountable obstacle. An effort is not made to find the solution, but to complain about life's unfairness or to blame others for our miserable existence.

God doesn't give you more than you can handle at any given time. The key is to understand the "homework" assignment and not dwell on the reason(s) as to why it was given at that particular time. With total abnegation and joy, begin working on the solution. There is a bigger picture that perhaps you can't comprehend at this time but will slowly emerge once you understand that He is painting a beautiful landscape and you are His canvas.

Mastering Our Fears

A quick lesson on mastering our fears: Love is a selfless quality. It is objective. Fear on the other hand is a self-centered quality. It is subjective. When we dwell too much on ourselves, thinking about our weaknesses or failings, it tends to create fears within us.

Love puts us to work for something or someone else. We become preoccupied with thoughts about others - friends, family, or total strangers. There is little time to think of SELF!

This is when we are most free from our fears.

I am so happy Ted Kennedy is gone!!!!!

Hold your fire and finish reading my entire blog entry.

Note that I said "gone" and not "dead." I believe that every end (death) is a beginning. Kennedy's body had finally reached the end. The brain cancer he was suffering from had taken a toll on his body and it was time for his "body" to change into the spiritual realm. I can describe it like changing a set of clothes - a material set for a spiritual one.

I was never a Kennedy fan. I vehemently disagreed with him both personally and politically. I am sure most of the people who loved Kennedy, including his family, didn't want to see him depart. This is the most selfish attitude any human being can have. First, who are we to decide when a person is to die? It is the God complex in so many of us who feel abandoned or betrayed by those who die before us.

Imagine if you have a son in prison and one day someone calls to inform you that he is ready to be released from his long and painful imprisonment. You don't want him to be "free" so you ask the warden to keep him "behind bars" another 5 years because you would miss the visits, his letters, or the sound of his voice on the phone. An illness is like being in prison - a prison of the body. His time has come, to leave behind his empty cell, and you decide that because of your own self-interest he can't leave yet because you will feel "sad, terrible, or in pain."

I blame society and religion for our ignorance and fear of death. This earth and life is a temporary home. Our true home is in a state of spiritual conscience. Some call it heaven while others refer to it as astral levels of consciousness. This is were Ted Kennedy is today. He has joined his brothers, parents, family members, and those angels who guided him during his 77 year mission on this earth. Did he fulfill his commitment? Did he pay his debt? Only he knows that now that he is facing the fairest judge in this universe - his own conscience.

Someone once said that "death is the golden key that opens the door to eternity." Kennedy has reached the door and I pray that he can embrace the light and continue his journey.

The wrong beliefs will enslave you

As long as you think that God will punish, test, or govern you with an iron fist, or He is a cruel tyrant, you will always be confused, dazed, perplexed, and in a constant state of conflict. This form of thinking is chaotic and it leads to misery in your life. Man becomes what his thoughts are each and every day.

Christ declared that God is our father and we are his children. As a result, your relationship with Him should be cordial and loving just like a father and son relationship. For the rest of your life, don't consider Him a God of anger and punishment. If you maintain these negative thought patterns, suffering and misery will constantly manifest in your life.

Believe and accept only those things that are good and beautiful about Him. Believe in His kindness and loving guidance. The harmony that He brings into your life despite the dark clouds that gather in the horizon. Believe that abundance is your birthright and you are ready to receive it. He is your loving father who wants your happiness and freedom above all things.

You are here today to express your purpose because the world must enjoy the blessings only you can provide.

Your thoughts are prayers

Every thought or feeling is a prayer. A prayer doesn't have to be ritualistic in nature. It is a very simple conscious contact with your internal divine power or intelligence. In order for the prayer to be effective, you must first believe that God is within you and every desire can be fulfilled as long as it is completely accepted by your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind grabs the desire as something real, creative juices begin flowing to manifest it.

I pray several times a day but not so much to ask for something in particular but to gain strength and faith. How many of you spend hours each week at the gym "polishing" your bodies and yet your subconscious mind stays in the car anxiously awaiting your return? Like any good marathon runner, your subconscious mind must be conditioned to go the long distance, go past the point of total exhaustion, to go over "the wall," and to push the last half mile when your legs are telling you that they can't go any further.

It is the constant inner assurance that the solutions are at your fingertips. The soft voice that whispers "one more step, don't quit now, go around the corner one more time......"

.....and then a "miracle" happens! Your prayer has been answered. Not really, miracles don't exist. What we call a miracle is the result of two or more perfect sources of energy that collide at the right moment. Sources that were created by your thoughts and not some wishful thinking.

Give it a try. Change those thought patterns and "miracles" will begin to emerge.

The only thing you can't have in life is.........

....something for nothing". You must pay the price for every action - good or bad. The key is to have faith in YOU and not blame outside entities, your past, heredity, family, etc, for all the bad turns that your life has taken. It is very easy to blame others or to find excuses as to why you haven't succeeded, happiness has eluded you, or wealth avoids you among other things.

The answer is faith; not the empty rhetoric taught by most religions during their weekly sermons. What happens after you leave the "ceremony?" Faith goes out the window. Time to face the harsh realities of life and get onboard the miserable train for another 6 day trip until the following Sunday when you will see a sliver of hope in front of you......a vicious cycle indeed! It is like being inside an elevator and one starts pressing the up and down buttons at the same time. It is not going anywhere. Your faith works the same way. One day you proclaim that He is in charge of your destiny and you allow Him to take the reigns. The next day you forget about Him and start finding excuses for all of your problems.....up and down again. A divided mind can't move forward!

Imagine if a farmer starts planting seeds early in the morning and by mid day he decides the ground is not fertile enough. He goes back to the field and removes all the seeds. He will be collecting unemployment soon thereafter and the family farm will go up in smoke.

All the answers lie within you. You have the solution(s) to all your problems. All you need to do is quietly ask Him to show you the path, to open the door, to bring the person who will guide you, to plant the idea in your mind.

Afterwards, let it go! Believe in yourself and the action that you have just taken. Close your eyes and imagine the results. The moment you ask for it, invisible forces get to work just for you.......go for it!

Become the sculptor of your own life.

I once read that Michelangelo would stand in front of The David and yell "come out" as he chiseled away for hours at the stone. He could see the end result in his mind. The David was a living thing that was hiding inside the marble stone.

....so here it is my philosophy with this sculpting thing. A rock, stone, pebble, or what seems like a boulder at times is given to us when we are born. The only condition for its acceptance is that we mold it whichever way we want, but mold it we MUST! However, it is alright if we decide not to work on it at all but the consequence of such act is that it will get heavier, bigger, and more cumbersome to carry the rest of our lives.

Challenges that we encounter each and every day are absorbed by this "rock" and as we move forward in life it can get bigger and heavier. We can also add to its volume by the amount of material things we acquire that require more and more attention and effort to maintain.

Shakespeare once said that "brevity is the soul of wit." Why not be brief to the challenges that we bring upon ourselves or the things we MUST acquire to make us HAPPY?

Don't take too many things to heart and don't take yourself too seriously.

Food for thought!

Anna Mary Robertson, best known as Grandma Moses, loved to embroider, but as she aged, she developed arthritis, which made embroidery too painful. Her sister suggested painting instead, so Robertson, seventy-five, took up something new. She began to paint the things she knew , farm and country scenes.

The results were utterly original and surprisingly good for a late-starting amateur. Her earliest works were shown and sold at a nearby drugstore and general store in Hoosick Falls, NY. One fateful day, New York engineer and art collector Louis Caldor happened by and purchased the whole lot on display.

Caldor was so taken with Robertson's art that he went another step and began promoting her works to collectors and galleries. Largely through Caldor's efforts, Robertson's work became famous. Her paintings were hung at the Museum of Modern Art in NY in 1939, and she held her first solo exhibition in New York a year later. She was eighty years young.

Even greater acclaim followed. She had many one-woman shows across Europe and North America. In her nineties, her paintings attracted attention all over the world. Her simple scenes of everyday life - people socializing, harvesting, participating in markets and fairs, and engaging in outdoor activities like ice-skating - still captivate wide audiences.

Her most notable works include The Thanksgiving Turkey (1943), and Over the River to Grandma's House (1944), fitting for the one who was to become known around the world simply as Grandma Moses.

She wrote a lively autobiography at age ninety-two, My Life's History. Grandma Moses lived to 101, no doubt propelled to that milestone by her important work.

From the time arthritis forced her to stop embroidering to when she completed her first artworks, only three years had passed. She said if she hadn't taken up painting, she would have raised chickens. (Her fans are glad she chose the former). The plainspoken original said simply that life is what we make it.

Excerpt from Extraordinary Comebacks by John A. Sarkett, Sourcebooks, Inc 2007

Solitude

It is not only the technological advances that have marked the beginning of this millennium, but relationships are going thru profound transformations with regards to love and romance.

Most people today are searching for a relationship that is compatible with modern times. A relationship where individuality, happiness, mutual respect, and the pleasure of "being together" can co-exist, and not one where there is a dependence on the other person for our well being or misfortunes.

The romantic idea that one person is the remedy for our happiness will slowly disappear in this century.

Romantic love is based on the premise that we are a "portion of some whole section" and need to find the other half to feel complete.

Many times there is a detachment from our own personalities that historically has affected women more than men. They abandon their personality traits to amalgamate the masculine design or desire.

The theory of "opposites attract" is also rooted in the same romantic love concept - the other person has to compliment what I lack. If I am docile, she must be aggressive, and so on and so forth.

In this 21st century, the key word is association and not fusion.

We are changing the love of necessity for one of desire. "I enjoy and desire his company but I don't need it as something indispensable."

More and more people are losing the fear of being alone, particularly with new technologies and changes in our society that requires more individuality.

Man is an animal who is constantly changing the world. As a result, he needs to be in a continuous state of "recycling" to adapt himself to the world he has created.

The era of individuality has arrived. It has nothing to do with being selfish. A selfish person lacks his own energy and feeds himself off the energy of others - financially or morally.

A new form of love has a new significance in that brings together two whole parts and not the union of two parts. The key word is "whole." However, to reach this level one must lead with his individuality.

A person who is not afraid of being alone is more prepared to deliver true affection in any relationship.

Solitude is not negative or shameful. On the contrary, it is worthy of respect.

The best relationships are similar to being alone - any kind of demand becomes secondary and there is mutual growth.

Everyone should experience solitude once in a while in order to establish an internal dialogue and discover their inner strength.

Solitude allows the individual to understand the harmony and inner peace that can only be found within and not from others.

As a result, the person becomes less critical of others and respects their behavior.

The love among two "whole" people is the healthiest type of affection. It provides the pleasure of each others company, respect for the loved one, and a haven for common growth.

Dr. Flavio Gikovate

Cut the tie that bind us

On Friday night, I was talking to a friend about different things including her recent separation and divorce. We were discussing how one can attract positive and negative energies from others thru the thought process. We act as magnets giving and receiving the thoughts from others when we regularly bring them about in conversation, complaints, or fond memories.

For example, we both know a woman (lets call her Maria) whose sister is envious of her every which way. Maria has to maintain a balance between been friendly toward her sister and not trusting her completely. Maria is a very spiritual person and is constantly sending her sister love and forgiveness with her thoughts. At the same time, Maria complaints about her sister and what a mean rotten SOB she is. The good thoughts become useless if one continually speaks about the other person's misdeeds, experiences, actions, or merely the past. Moreover, if our intention is to eradicate this person from our lives and to cut the tie that bind us once and for all, the first step is to cease talking or thinking about that person; thus severing the imaginary string of energy that can link both of us.

My friend confessed that she was guilty of the same attitude with her ex-husband. She would express her resentment to her friends at all times perhaps looking for support and reassurance that the other party was the one at fault. In doing so, whatever energy she intended to use to forget him was ineffective. Her words and thoughts continued to attract him into her life in an indirect manner, but still part of her nonetheless.

So what's the secret? Start by cutting off any thoughts or words about the other person and you will begin to feel the energy dissipate. More importantly, you will regain control of your life and freedom.

Make your own pearls

How do oysters make pearls? Can we use the same concept to face our vicissitudes in life and turn them into pearls?

A foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle (organ that produces the shell) and the shell. It becomes sort of an ulcer that begins to irritate the mantle. The oyster's natural reaction is to cover up the irritant to protect itself with layers and layers of a substance called nacre. Eventually, the nacre turns the ulcer into a beautiful pearl.

The oyster doesn't reject the foreign substance that enters her dwelling. It is part of her environment, a danger that comes with her territory, an obstacle that she must face on a daily basis. Rather than complaining to King Neptune about the unfairness of this attack, she goes about her business and begins turning a setback into something wonderful.

We must also welcome the "foreign substance" that attacks our quarters - doubt, fear, anxiety, or lost hope. No matter how painful the experience, cover it with a strong belief that goodness will pervade reality and you will ultimately triumph.

Change is constant

Growth and development in our lives requires at times pain, sacrifice, and discomfort. One of the main reasons why most of us don't enjoy the quality of life we yearn is because we rather be comfortable than uncomfortable. Fighting change at all cost is the key element of our "comfort zone" even when we know subconsciously that is harming us. So why do so many of us rarely ever change? The answer is that we are creatures of habit. We do certain things in a certain way because "we have always done it that way, my family have always done it, it has worked for me, etc."

Lets try a little experiment. Fold your hands in your lap. Notice which thumb you have on top - left or right? Refold your hands so that the other thumb naturally ends up on top. This involves moving every finger in the previously lower hand up a notch. Notice how that feels. Does it feel awkward, uncomfortable, strange, weird, or "wrong?" Notice what your body wants to do. Does it want to go back to the first position, your "normal" position, your habitual condition? Now go back to the original position. How does that feel? Does it feel better, right, or comfortable again? Is it a relief to be back to the original position?

Stan Dale once said that "comfort zones are plush lined coffins. When you stay in your plush lined coffins, you die."

A rejection is really an illusion

You haven't really lost anything by being rejected. How many times we want something in life but are too afraid to ask for it or to take a chance in getting it. Fear is a paralyzing emotion. You ask a girl to dinner and she turns you down. You didn't lose anything since you didn't have anyone to go to dinner with in the first place before you asked her. You didn't have a date before and you don't have one now. Big deal! Nothing happened to you.

You ask your boss for a raise and he throws you out of the office. So what! You didn't have the raise before you walked in his office. You still have a job and he didn't kill you by asking.

What if she would have said YES? What if your boss would have agreed to pay you more? This is a new concept....think about it. You could actually get what you want by asking. What's the best possible outcome you could get by not fearing a rejection? I am sure you can answer that question.

Food for thought!

True Happiness?

Last night I was talking to a friend who had just broken up with her boyfriend. She was sad because she thought he "was the one." The one true love who had finally arrived after so many disappointments to share with her the happiness and life she has always wanted. She discovered in the process that he wasn't perfect, made her feel inferior because of his low self-esteem, and other things that she didn't want to divulge.

We are constantly searching for an impossibility - true happiness. When we "reach it", we discover that we are not fulfilled, want more, if we could just tweak it a bit on the sides to make it perfect, etc, etc.

There is no such thing as "true happiness." Happiness evolves daily in all directions - ups and downs. It is elusive. What is happiness for you at this moment might be viewed as totally opposite to someone else. We are constantly changing and so are our desires. Also, happiness can be found in the most mundane things we do on a daily basis. It doesn't have to be associated with feelings of the heart or sharing intimate moments with someone. I go back to one of my previous blogs when I said that we don't need another person to make us happy because we give him/her too much power over our lives.

What's the secret then? Grow from within and you will find peace. When you reach this point, you will be content with everything that happens in your life; good or bad.

Blinded by his pride

A young man asks his father for a new car. His father tells him that if he graduates from college with a high GPA, he would buy him a new car. After a couple of years, the young man graduates Magna Cum Laude and proudly brings the news to his father. He then receives a bible from his father as a graduation present. He is furious because his father didn't buy him the new car that he had promised. He moved out of the city and lost contact with his family for many years.

One day he received the news that his father passed away. He decided to attend the funeral just to be supportive of his mother. When he arrived at the funeral home, his mother asked if he still had the bible his father gave him as a present. He remembered that he had thrown the bible in the trunk of the car after he stormed out of the house on that fateful day. His mother asked him to get the bible from the car and open it in one of the psalms. As he brought the bible to his mother, he found the check his father wrote him to buy his new car.

Food for thought!

Wealth Inequality (2 of 2)

Speaking from personal experience, I worked with a local government agency for 15 years and discovered that most of my colleagues just wanted to earn a paycheck and "retire." Early in their careers they had reached a point that I described as "cruise control" - do enough to get by and reach 25 years so they could retire, move to the North Carolina mountains, build a log cabin, and die of boredom 2 years later. Very few of them took advantage of the free educational opportunities to pursue a college degree. During my last year with this company, I had a middle management position, company car, excellent health care benefits, and was making about $75,000 a year. Despite these "wonderful" things, I felt trapped, in prison, selling my soul for a paycheck, and the constant threat of being fired for not going along with the political games and personal vendettas.

We were not designed to be prisoners. God created us to pursue our dreams, to use our talents for the betterment of this world, and to take chances in life knowing that when we fall He will be by our side to help us get up again and again.

But I digressed. God (not Obama) has decided to spread the wealth to specific points and people so it can be disseminated in enough quantities according to the needs of everyone. Lets ask this question then: Why has God given wealth to those who are not capable or willing to help others, who are greedy and hoard it even after they die? Here we see His wisdom and kindness in action. He has given us free will and wants us to figure out the difference between right and wrong, and those who practice good will and benevolence toward others is because of their own efforts.

Wealth is a way for us to be tested in a moral sense, but because it is such a powerful tool for the progress of the world, He doesn't want the wealth to stay inactive for long periods of time. Therefore, He is having wealth continually change hands. Everyone should possess a part of it in order to practice how to make use of it. However, it is impossible for everyone to have it at the same time and if we did, nobody would work and world progress would suffer. Whoever doesn't have it today, had it already or will have it in another lifetime.

There are rich and poor people in this world. He is righteous in that everyone should have their piece of the pie when it is their turn. Poverty is for some a test of their patience and resignation. Wealth is for others a test of their kindness and self-denial.

Wealth Inequality (1 of 2)

Why is there inequality of wealth in this world? Obama mentioned during his presidential run that he wanted "to spread the wealth around" among all Americans. It sounded like a very noble ideal (except to Joe The Plumber and the other 49 million who voted against him), but it doesn't work. I am going to approach this argument from a spiritual and not a political standpoint.

What happens when you DO spread the wealth equally to all men? I've always believed that if you put ten men in an island with the same amount of money and opportunities, one will control the money after one year and the other nine will be working for him. Not everyone has the same motivational level to succeed, to take risks, to work hard, or be thrifty. However, lets assume that everyone has an equal share of the pie and there is contentment throughout the world. What would happen to inventions, new companies being created, medical discoveries, the overall well being and progress of the world? The answer is "dead silence!" World progress would come to a complete standstill. There will be no incentive to move forward. Human beings become idle when they feel comfortable and content, thus losing the urge to grow.

....to be continued.

Patience

I came home last night very late totally exhausted. I wanted to make a blog entry but was mentally drained and the blog would have been total rubbish. I had been up since 3 am, spend most of the morning and early afternoon in the hot South Florida sun, and finished the day organizing the material for the flea market on Saturday. It was a day filled with frustration and disappointment coupled with the fact that I twisted my ankle trying to carry a large dresser to the truck.......I am getting too old for this .......!

I could have allowed the "negative" events that unfolded during the day to bring me down, to say "it is not worth it anymore," and to continue feeding the eternal worries that can't never escape us. Instead, I chose to quietly revolt against the pessimism. I chose to quell the tumults. How? By being PATIENCE and THANKFUL!

The emotional or spiritual pain is a gift from God. Let me repeat this again. IT IS A GIFT FROM GOD. How can you say that JC? Are you being a masochist? No, I am not a masochist. I certainly don't enjoy painful or difficult moments, but I've learned to accept them with patience because I see them as the key to a divine future. I used to want things NOW, enjoy the moment, don't think about the future, who cares about tomorrow, I want it NOW, THIS MOMENT, AHORA, IT IS MINE! What a selfish attitude! To think that all the bad things that happened today were directed at me because I AM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS. As a matter of fact, my problems are bigger than the rest of the world.....selfish indeed!

Life is hard. It's comprised of thousand of insignificant acts that are constantly bothering us like pricks from small pins. However, it is necessary to understand the DUTIES that have been assigned to us by the Creator which include moments that are less than perfect. It also important to see beyond the pain and enjoy the joy we have today or the blessings we receive each and every day but we dismiss them with our eternal selfish attitude. I hope you can see that your blessings outnumber whatever difficulties you are encountering today.

The bundle that you carry gets lighter when you raise your head instead of looking down.