I promised you a few days ago that I would give you some inside into the mindset of men when it comes to dating and relationships. I don't claim to be an expert in relationships and based on my life experience in that department some would claim that I've been a failure although I tend to disagree with that assessment. A failure to someone can be a personal triumph to the one experiencing it as it is in my case. I've had wonderful experiences and each one has given me a new insight into my own personal balance sheet - negative and positive traits.
There seems to be a need for men and women to constantly be in search for the "perfect mate," someone to "share my life, the joy of living," "soul mate," etc. With that in mind, we get on the dating train and go from station to station searching for those clues that hopefully can lead us to the promise land. One date leads to another and perhaps an intimate moment to be disappointed when he (in the case of men) doesn't return our calls or seems not interested anymore. Or, we join dating clubs and evaluate a potential relationship based on a profile description or a picture taken who knows how long. After each disappointing experience, we promise ourselves not to get in the train again, blame ourselves for being fools, but the fear that there are no other trains coming into the station for a long time makes us buy another ticket no matter the cost.
I believe that we make a crucial mistake in thinking that we MUST have someone in our lives in order to be fulfilled. A belief that in order for us to enjoy a "walk on the beach, candlelight dinner, or staying home and watching a movie" to name a few online dating descriptions, it must be done with our prince charming. In doing so, we experience life from a very narrow point of view in that someone else can be the only one who can fulfill us with those experiences. That somehow our ability to enjoy those moments and many others BY OURSELVES or in the company of someone who is not destined or forced to be our future partner is connected to another human being to whom we have given the keys to the kingdom - control over our feelings and happiness.
What's wrong with being alone? Why put a square peg in a round hole for the sake of fulfilling a mandate that there MUST be a mate for our lives to be complete? I ask you this question.....isn't there more to this life than romantic moments, engaging conversations, and a need for adult companionship no matter the result? Why not look within first and enjoy, learn, and share the potentiality that we already possess before visiting someone else's kingdom? Ours is perfect only if we believe it..........to be continued!
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