Solitude

It is not only the technological advances that have marked the beginning of this millennium, but relationships are going thru profound transformations with regards to love and romance.

Most people today are searching for a relationship that is compatible with modern times. A relationship where individuality, happiness, mutual respect, and the pleasure of "being together" can co-exist, and not one where there is a dependence on the other person for our well being or misfortunes.

The romantic idea that one person is the remedy for our happiness will slowly disappear in this century.

Romantic love is based on the premise that we are a "portion of some whole section" and need to find the other half to feel complete.

Many times there is a detachment from our own personalities that historically has affected women more than men. They abandon their personality traits to amalgamate the masculine design or desire.

The theory of "opposites attract" is also rooted in the same romantic love concept - the other person has to compliment what I lack. If I am docile, she must be aggressive, and so on and so forth.

In this 21st century, the key word is association and not fusion.

We are changing the love of necessity for one of desire. "I enjoy and desire his company but I don't need it as something indispensable."

More and more people are losing the fear of being alone, particularly with new technologies and changes in our society that requires more individuality.

Man is an animal who is constantly changing the world. As a result, he needs to be in a continuous state of "recycling" to adapt himself to the world he has created.

The era of individuality has arrived. It has nothing to do with being selfish. A selfish person lacks his own energy and feeds himself off the energy of others - financially or morally.

A new form of love has a new significance in that brings together two whole parts and not the union of two parts. The key word is "whole." However, to reach this level one must lead with his individuality.

A person who is not afraid of being alone is more prepared to deliver true affection in any relationship.

Solitude is not negative or shameful. On the contrary, it is worthy of respect.

The best relationships are similar to being alone - any kind of demand becomes secondary and there is mutual growth.

Everyone should experience solitude once in a while in order to establish an internal dialogue and discover their inner strength.

Solitude allows the individual to understand the harmony and inner peace that can only be found within and not from others.

As a result, the person becomes less critical of others and respects their behavior.

The love among two "whole" people is the healthiest type of affection. It provides the pleasure of each others company, respect for the loved one, and a haven for common growth.

Dr. Flavio Gikovate