I arrived here with nothing, not even a set of clothes or shoes. There was no money in my pockets and my only possession at the time was a borrowed blanket. I cried and my mother held me tight. For the first few years, I began acquiring things and realized that my emotions were somehow connected to those things at the time of their arrival or if for some reason they ceased to be part of my life. As a result, I became angry, sad, happy, remorseful, impatient, and so many other things. Without realizing, I was becoming a slave of my own possessions, my internal feelings, and my attachments. My life was a race where every minute wasted was an opportunity missed which in turn became a painful reminder of a failure. Everything became a goal to be measured by the level of my happiness when in reality it was just an elusive dream that never belonged to me.
Relationships ended and I forcefully tried to make them work even as the walls were crumbling down. It was not the fear of loneliness as much as a desire to hold on to those things that made me comfortable. I was willing to trade my freedom for comfort......what a bargain!
I realized that others could care less how I was feeling. I had given them too much control over my own life.......and then a miracle happened! I was free to fly away and release the chains that held me back. Nothing belonged to me. I was in full control of my life because of the simple fact that I could control NOTHING......only how I viewed an event, a person, or a moment.
Circles that open and close and we get the enjoy its circumference because we must. Nothing is permanent. The windows open in our lives to allow the cool breeze to touch our faces. They can't stay open forever.
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